managing emotions
Understanding emotions, especially when they get too big and out of hand, can be difficult. But we can learn to manage our emotions so that they don't get us into trouble or stay around too long.
This page will help you understand what emotions and feelings are and how to begin to get control of them.
Essentially emotions are physical and instinctive. They have been programmed into our genes over many, many years of evolution and are hard-wired. Their general purpose is to produce a specific response to a stimulus. For example: You are on your own and on foot in the savanna wilderness, you see a lion, and you instantly get scared. Pure emotion is about your fight-flight-freeze response.
Feelings on the other hand play out in our heads. They are the mental associations and reactions to an emotion that are personal and come through experience. Your feelings about a situation may be very different from some else's because you have had different experiences and you have a different way of reacting to the world.
Moods are less specific, less intense and less likely to be provoked by a particular situation or event. Moods are usually described as having either a positive or negative impact. In other words, people usually talk about being in a good mood or a bad mood.
Sometimes anger can turn into aggression and violence. If you are worried that you are becoming aggressive or violent or you know you are sometimes aggressive or violent, click the pic above to learn ways to stop.
Self-control and self-regulation are the top two skills you need for better relationships, success in your schooling and career, and an easier way in the world. Self-regulation is the ability to monitor and manage your emotions, thoughts, and behaviours in ways that are acceptable and produce positive results even in situations that are stressful or difficult.
Anger is a normal emotion just like any other, but it is one that can get us into trouble when we don't express it safely or if we are angry a lot of the time. Watch here for a bit more info about anger
Emotional intelligence or EQ is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, and those of the people around you. People with a high level of emotional intelligence know what they're feeling, what their emotions mean, and how these emotions can affect other people. This is really important for having successful relationships, achieving your goals, and having good mental health. Click the pic above to test your EQ
How do you get better at self-regulation?
1. Mindfulness - pay attention to your breath and slow it down.
2. Rethink the situation - for example, if a friend did not return your calls or texts for a few days, rather than thinking "my friend
hates me," you might instead think, "my friend must be really busy."
3. Remain flexible and adapt to situations as they change.
4. Problem-solve.
5. Accept that not everything is in your control (especially others) and manage the situation as best you can.
This is a great app for managing big emotions like anger. Click the pic for a link to more info.
A surfer doesn’t fight the powerful ocean wave; they move with the wave riding its natural tide. “Riding the wave” is also a psychological practice of surfing your own powerful and negative emotions. Fighting emotions such as sadness and anger delays the acceptance of these emotions. Riding the wave is about allowing your emotions to be with you without acting on them in ways that may hurt you or someone else. Click the pic above to find out how to emotion surf.
5 steps to helping you deal with big emotions:
F - feel the emotion, don't try to avoid it or push it away
A - accept the emotion as normal, and as something that will pass
N - naming and labeling your emotions can help lessen their intensity.
T - tame the emotion by practicing self-compassion and taking a big slow breath to give yourself time to let the feeling release.
A - air out the emotion through helpful strategies like talking it through with someone, practicing mindfulness, going for a walk, or writing in a journal etc.
